Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake

As I sat in my window last evening, The letterman brought it to me

A little gilt-edged invitation sayin' "Gilhooley come over to tea”

I knew that the Fogarty’s sent it. So I went just for old friendships sake.

The first thing they gave me to tackle Was a slice of Miss Fogarty's cake.

There were plums and prunes and cherries,

There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too

There was nutmeg, cloves and berries

And a crust that was nailed on with glue

There were caraway seeds in abundance

Sure could work up a fine stomach ache

That could kill a man twice after eating a slice

Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake.

Miss Mulligan wanted to try it, But really it wasn't no use

For we worked in it over an hour And we couldn't get none of it loose

Till Murphy came in with a hatchet And Kelly came in with a saw

That cake was enough be the powers above For to paralyze any man's jaws


Miss Fogarty proud as a peacock, Kept smiling and blinking away

Till she slipped over Flanagans brogans And she spilt the home brew in her tea

Aye Gilhooley she says you're not eatin, Try a little bit more for me sake

And no Miss Fogarty says I, For I've had quite enough of your cake


Maloney was took with the colic, O'Donald's a pain in his head

Mc'Naughton lay down on the sofa, And he swore that he wished he was dead

Miss Bailey went into hysterics And there she did wriggle and shake

And everyone swore they were poisoned From eating Miss Fogarty's cake